Ways to Lose You
by Komorebi-chan
Summary: Sakura had always expected him to be there... until he just wasn't. Oneshot.


**Ways to Lose You**

 **By Komorebi-chan**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto in anyway.

 **Summary:** Sakura had always expected him to be there... until he just wasn't.

 **Things to notes:** Sasuke and Sakura never happened. Post-war, slightly different ending than what was given. Hinata was friends with Sakura, but over time (from around 19 years old onward) they became distant. I'm not trying to bash anyone, but sorry if people interpret it like this. Flames are not welcome. Italics are thoughts and flashbacks (you can tell which is which).

 **Warnings:** Slight spoilers (?), possible OOCness, character death, slight AU (as in Sakura and Hinata are not friends and Sakura loves Naruto).

 **A/N:** I told you that flames are not welcome. I don't care if you hate Hinata, or Sakura, or NaruHina or NaruSaku. I don't, however, think that telling me to 'kill myself' or calling me 'pathetic' is a nice thing to wake up to. Don't like, press the back button. All anonymous comments have been deleted if all you could hate on was how much you hated the characterization or idea. Read the damn manga if you want to stick to canon. This is _fiction_ from my imagination. Guest reviews are now moderated.  In short: You want to flame, do it under your signed name so I can reply.

* * *

 **Loss One: When he looks at another like he used to look at you.**

Sakura had always expected Naruto to be there. There, right by her side. Call her naïve, but she had always thought that no matter how many times she insulted him, or punched him, he would still love her. Stupid now, but it had seemed that way when they were still silly and idiotic… and young. She wasn't old, only 19, but battles had made her wiser, and she could tell he got the same effect.

It had only started small.

Miniscule, microscopic, but Sakura had seen it from the very beginning. The way his eyes opened as if he just realised something. The way he was so careful as if not to break her, break Hinata. That goofy smile, a different one from the usual, that he gave her, and only her. It was all the same. So familiar… nostalgic.

He had looked at her like that before.

She saw the change over the next few months. His awkward loud voice resonating throughout town. His creepy stalking tactics. His secret presents.

And then she saw the way Hinata looked at him. She had always known Hinata loved him, but it was different when it was one-sided. Now Hinata saw; now Hinata knew. Their banter increased ten-fold, occasionally crossing the G-rated limit. Presents were exchanged freely now. And there was no more need for stalking; she let him walk beside her.

It should have been no surprise when Naruto asked the lavender-eyed girl out, but for Sakura, it finally felt _official_. It hurt. A lot.

They were a cute couple. Careful on the PDA, nervous with even hand holding, did equal work from both parts in making their relationship do well. The Konoha 11 thought they would last four months.

"They're cute… but too awkward," Ino told her in one of their weekly gossip nights.

Sakura wanted them to barely last a day. That didn't happen.

Months turned to years, and whispers of marriage was beginning to go around. Sakura cringed. This wasn't meant to happen.

He was supposed to love her.

Hinata was a good girlfriend, better than she could ever be, but… Naruto was supposed to wait.

Wait until she finally had the nerve to tell him she loved him too.

* * *

 **Loss Two: When he kisses her… to seal the deal.**

Marriage.

It had never occurred to Sakura that marriage was possible. Sure they were all getting older, to the stage where marriage was normal, but it still seemed so strange. It only seemed like yesterday when everyone still thought boys were icky. Perhaps even more heartbreaking was who was getting married first. It was not Ino Yamanaka and her on and off boyfriend Choji. It wasn't even Shikamaru and Temari, they acted like a married couple anyway.

It was Naruto and Hinata.

Marriage was a funny thing. It was supposed to be the best thing of their life, but Sakura had probably seen them squabble more than ever than their whole three years together. More than once, she had partially wished they would just call it off. Not just the fights, but Sakura had never seen the bride and groom-to-be ever so… out of character. Naruto actually fretted with nerves and paid close attention to _detail_. As for Hinata, Sakura didn't even know she _could_ scream.

Everything was beautiful when the time came. At the Konoha Shrine, the toori gates glowed even brighter. The silvery lights that were strewn all over the place made everything seem more majestic. The stars twinkled just a little more that night. However, none of that seemed to matter once the groom marched out. His hair was brighter than the sun… and his face glowed brighter than any star could. He was dressed rather handsomely in his hakama, but all who knew him could tell he was just itching to sprint back to his apartment to grab his favourite orange jumpsuit. But then again, all who knew him knew he would forget all that as soon as the love of his life stepped through the doors. Sakura rolled her eyes. And then her breath caught.

Hinata bowed before walking through the toori gate, a gentle and shy smile on her face. Her kimono was expensive, magnificently decorated. Her skin that envious flawless alabaster white, her hair a glossy black, and her lips were coloured a soft pink. She looked like a Japanese princess. Sakura knew she herself was pretty. However, now all she felt was just… pretty. Common pretty. Not at all ready to compete with a traditionally beautiful princess.

They said their vows in barely a whisper. Her, choked with tears. Him, voice cracking. He slipped on a beautiful golden wedding band and Sakura bit her lip, trying to hold back her own tears. She was there with him to pick them out.

 _I'll Love You Forever Princess- Dattebayo!_

It was so… CHEESY! But Sakura wanted that too… from him. Hinata had just finished slipping on his ring. Slowly he smiled and leaned in, pulling her just a little closer. He kissed her softly, tenderly, and Sakura finally let the tears flow.

* * *

 **Loss Three: When he retracts his hand of friendship from yours.**

She hadn't meant to, but she was Sakura, and sometimes she just… snapped.

"Hey Sakura-chan!" called out Naruto with a cheery wave, "Let's go out to eat!" Sakura looked up from her paper filing to see Naruto storm into her office. She smiled slightly.

"Alright Naruto, where?" she asked.

"Ichiraku's, duh!" he told her and she laughed. Same old Naruto. Slinging an arm around him, she led him out the office with a bright smile.

"So… just us two, huh?" she asked. Naruto coughed politely.

"Naww Sakura-chan, I was thinking of inviting Hina too." Sakura stilled, her arm stiff.

"Sakura-chan? Sakura-chan? Yooo!" She snapped out of it.

"Sorry Naruto," she said with a tight smile, "But do you need to bring her today?"

He gave her a confused look, "Sorry Sakura-chan, I can't. I told her in the morning to wait at Ichiraku's today." Not at all pleased, she made it a point to show how much she would love it if Hinata came.

"Just don't Naruto," she gritted out. His confused face stayed.

"What do you mean?" he asked her uncharacteristically gentle. Sakura wanted to stuff her fist in her mouth and shut herself up, but she didn't. And she continued.

"I just don't think you should be inviting her is all…" she told him stubbornly with her arms crossed, mouth pouty like a petulant child.

"Why?"

"Because I like you, idiot!" she snapped. He had looked like he had been slapped right in the face.

"Sakura…" he breathed, face contorting into one of understanding, but apologetic too. That face had slapped her in the face and anger boiled within.

"What?" she asked huffily, "I know it's wrong. But I'm better for you than that… bitch!" He flinched and Sakura's rational mind gained control. Eyes wide and watering, she took a step back.

"Naruto…I…" she attempted. Naruto narrowed his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan," he tried to say as cheerily as possible, "But I'm not the one you should be apologising to." He was wringing his hands now nervously. He must not have expected this and he didn't know how to deal with it. His best friend and childhood crush had finally confessed to him in the worst possible time. He was married!

"Naruto…"

"It's alright!" he said shakily, "I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura-chan…" There was something that seemed so final about this farewell, though, she thought. He would no longer know how to react and she knew she would be kept at arms-length from now on. The thought broke her.

"Darling? Sakura-chan?" Shoulder-length purple hair came into view. Hinata walked towards Naruto with a puzzled look at the tense atmosphere, Himawari clutching her waist. Sakura's lip trembled at the child attached to her rival. She was a product of both Hinata and Naruto, most likely the final piece to Naruto's family and one Sakura had no part of.

"Sakura-chan…" He was watching her with a hardened expression, as if daring her to try something.

 _I'm the enemy! He's wary of me!_

She looked up at him, grief plainly seen in her eyes. He looked away, taken aback. When he looked back, his eyes were sad.

 _He wants me to apologise and leave quietly._

That now all too familiar anger churned her insides and she growled.

"Sakura-san?" Hinata asked politely. She was slowly walking towards her acting like the Good Samaritan, which was now getting on her nerves.

Slapping her hand away, angry emerald eyes focused on oblivious lavender ones.

"I hate you," she spat at her. Hinata's eyes widened and she stepped back, hurt. Sakura's lip trembled, knowing the damage she had done and the consequences that would befall her. She took one look at Naruto's unreadable expression and ran away.

Polite conversation was all Naruto gave after that.

* * *

 **Loss Four: When he is no longer your hero.**

" _We're not friends?" she asked him softly. Running a hand through his golden hair, he shook his head resignedly._

" _I'm not comfortable," he replied sadly._

" _Oh."_

" _I'll always help you though!" he tried to say lightly, "After all, we're Team 7 forever!"_

She missed Sasuke these days. Maybe it was because things were so much easier back then. She knew who she liked. Everyone knew who she liked. Sasuke himself knew.

And no one isolated her or judged her harshly because of it.

While rummaging through files, she had come across a letter from Sasuke to Naruto informing the Seventh Hokage of his whereabouts. She had all but run up the stairs of the Hokage Tower before coming to an abrupt stop in front of Naruto's door. Her face flamed up as she remembered all her embarrassing and shameful things she had told him.

Politely, she knocked on it. Once. Twice.

"Come in."

Naruto was at his desk, tired, but still bright. His face turned into one of nervousness when she entered. He was always nervous now. It pained her how they had gone from best friends to acquaintances in such a short amount of time. But it was all her fault. Her and her big mouth.

"S-Sakura-chan!" he said with a smile.

"Hey Naruto," she tried to say calmly, a small smile adorned her face. The atmosphere was… awkward.

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to see Sasuke," she told him firmly. Naruto's face became a mixture of surprise and wariness.

"Sakura-chan," he said with the authority of Hokage, "I'm sorry, but I can't give you permission. Sasuke is doing something important."

She clenched her fists, "You told me Team 7 is forever! A bond must be nourished to continue…"

In a defeated sigh, she whispered, "…I just want to see him…" She wanted normality. She knew that was ridiculous to seek it from _Sasuke_ , but she wanted to revisit the past when everything was so much easier and simpler.

Naruto sighed, "The journey's long. And all the ninjas I trust enough to protect you are away on missions." Her heart gave a little jump.

 _He still cares!_

"Then… maybe you can come along to reunite Team 7," she whispered shyly, her hands clasped together, "The village is doing fine at the moment and I'm sure an everyday desk job is becoming boring for a bubble of energy for you." Surprise coloured his features once more.

"Sakura-chan, I can't." This wasn't the answer she wanted hear. No, not at all. This was not supposed to be the answer.

Clasping his hands in hers, tears threatening to fall, she whispered brokenly, "Naruto… please?"

Slender fingers slowly slid out of her own thin ones. Her eyes searched for his, but he was staring to the side.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan," he told her sorrowfully. She followed his gaze to the framed photo on his desk, the Uzumaki family smiling cheerily back. She gasped in horror and tears fell freely now. Ashamed, she quietly excused herself.

He let her go.

* * *

 **Loss Five: When he's just gone… forever.**

They say he died a quick death, a painless one. But she is in the inner circle and she knows the truth. It was days before he died after constant torture by a whole group of S Class ninjas. At 45, Naruto had only just hit middle-age and he was supposed to have another half of his life left. But he was Naruto and he had given himself up when a group of children were ransomed.

The sky cried.

The world mourned.

Most of the old Rookie 9 could only stare in disbelief, unwilling to believe that the unbreakable knucklehead could look so damaged when he was brought back.

Hinata never left her husband's body when it was brought back for cleaning. She refused to eat, sleep and dark thoughts had entered her mind. It was only the support of her children that had stopped her from going with her love.

Sakura knew all that because she was the one that tried to save his already dead body and polished it up. Her mind had been numb. Naruto? Dead? Those two words should never be heard in the same sentence. She had been working in robot mode. Undress, clean the wounds, put on his new clothes.

But now they were at the funeral and seeing him in that coffin being lowered into the ground had let all the pent up emotions go. Crouching down away from the public, she allowed her tears to fall freely. They continued to flow as wet drops fell onto her cheeks and dripped onto the pavement. Her eyes were still puffy, eyelashes still wet and face still red when Hinata crouched down beside her.

"I'm alright," she muttered. They had not talked unless made to since the time she told Hinata she hated her. For Sakura, that was perfectly fine. She continued to sit quietly, until she fumbled into her handbag and pulled out a clean handkerchief. Sakura shook her head angrily.

"I don't need your pity," she said bitterly. She hated this situation. Here the widow was trying to comfort the loser. Pathetic.

"I know," Hinata said simply. There was silence until Sakura scoffed.

"He still cared for you," Hinata told her quietly, "He missed having you as his friend." Sakura's eyes narrowed, not missing out on how Hinata emphasised friend. Was she teasing her? Revelling in her pain?

"I hate you," she spat out once again, no longer caring about how ugly she looked. Hinata's eyes hardened and an equal amount of anger was expressed.

"Likewise," she returned with a glare.

 _A 17-year-old Naruto draped his arm around the two._

" _So, what's this secret you've been keeping from me?" he asked in a whiny voice. Hinata and Sakura looked at each other and giggled simultaneously._

" _You'll see, idiot!" Sakura playfully said. Hinata nodded shyly. He sighed._

" _Awww come on guys!" he cried._

" _S-soon, Naruto-kun," Hinata told him. Naruto pouted, but nodded and left with a wave._

 _Sakura turned to Hinata with a mischievous look._

" _If you want to get Naruto-kun to like you, you need to wear that beautiful purple dress to the dance," Sakura instructed. Hinata turned bright red and tried to fan herself down._

" _I-It's too revealing!" she squeaked._

 _Sakura gaped, "You look so hot in it though!" Hinata allowed herself a small smile, before it was replaced with worry._

" _W-What if he doesn't react? What if he likes the other girls there?" she fussed, "L-Like Ino-chan or y-you?"_

 _Sakura scoffed and waved that off, "If I saw Naruto eyeing me, I'll puke."_

 _Hinata giggled and Sakura laughed with her._

They continued to glare, tears forming as the deep anger was slowly replaced with deep grief.

* * *

 **Author's note: Thanks for reading this! If you don't like it, just leave quietly please. If you liked it, please leave a favourite or a review :).**

 **Hakama is pretty much the men's equivalent of a kimono. Toori gates are those red poles framing the front of shrines.**


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